Every relation is based on mutual respect and trust. Loosing someone you love makes you feel empty. The fact you were on the root of the troubles, makes it hollower, leaves you emptier than ever.
You want to go back in the past to undo the wrong, but you can’t, how much you want and wish. And yet again, you feel you're losing yourself.
True friends will never tell you what to do, but will make you listen to yourself. The biggest mistake is to talk about it with people who tell you what to do. Nobody knows the real background but you. Thus no one can or has the right to tell you what to do. Your life is your own.
When loosing, the hardest part is keeping faith. We should keep faith. Someone told me once, keep believing, it doesn't help if you let yourself go. Though it is hard and difficult, we have to keep having faith. How hard it may be. Maybe this is the greatest test of your faith.