Then last night, I contacted a Friend I hadn't spoken with for two years. Phoned him and had a
great conversation which prompted me to today’s topic : Forgive.
Most of the time we can forgive others, but not ourselves. We all make mistakes, we all take decisions which we shouldn't have taken. Every decision has a consequence and we have to live with it.
On my Friend's website, there is a picture of what Andre Gide once said : You must stay true to yourself !
During our conversation, we talked about how we can sometimes fall down and become something, someone we hate. His answer was simply great when I told him, we sometimes take decisions when we are not ourselves. His answer was that : sometimes there's this ugly part that comes up. But it is part of who we are.
Putting this bad side in a bag and bury it, ignoring it, will only give it an opportunity strike back with a vengeance. However, when we acknowledge we have that part within our self, we can act to make sure it does not surface.
He had a great point there, it is not our good side or bad side which defines us as a good or bad person. It is the way we deal with it. Acknowledging there is a dark side which could surface when we're we weak, helps us to (re)act so it doesn't.
There may be a time that this dark side surfaced and we act the way we normally never act. Once we gain back our own control, we are so ashamed of our self, we cannot forgive our self.
Some people may talk about the circumstances, trying to make you feel better. How many times have we forgiven people for things which we don't forgive our self ?
So why can’t we forgive our self ?
When our own integrity is damaged, we feel we've lost something. Like a car that’s no longer brand new, but dented, scratched. Most of the time because of our own actions. This is when t becomes hard to forgive oneself.
It's not we have to blandly forgive ourselves for whatever we do...
We need to look at our actions, see what were the consequences. Learn from it, try to understand what the impacts were. Then learn to live with it. Not look back in agony or pity, but learning and closing the past.
By learning from the past and learn to close the past, can we go forward. Once we are back on track, then we'll go forward. In order to be able for forgive ourselves, we need to acknowledge who we are and accept the consequences of our actions.