After my last blog update, a friend send me an email with his condolences. He understood this can be quite a hard time for me.
What actually happened, he misread when I wrote my mother no longer lives in the house. Later, when seein him online I phoned him. He was embarresed for and apologised for this "misplaced email. I replied to him not to worry, to err is human. . His email was just him making me clear he was there for me should I need a friend.

In life we meet a lot of people, but only a few remain in your life. Some people just know you and then you have Friends who KNOW you.
It's like with an onion, there are everal layers in Friendship. Outsite these layers are people you meet. In the first layers the people who know something about you. The closer to the center, the better they know you.
Some people reach that inner circle; they got there, not because they wanted to know all about you. They got there as they were there for you in times of need. Times they knew you needed someone and they made sure you had. Times where you didn't need to ask them anything. They KNEW when to be there on the right time. They are the ones you trust.


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Soul lost 03/01/2011
 
Growing up in a house, leaving it full of memories, playing in the garden, my first time going out, watching TV... Talking to my dad in his shop, helping him out. Then later helping out my mum after my father passed away.
Since recent, my mother no longer lives in the house.

Nothing left in the cupboards, furniture all around... It felt dead,

Someone once said a house is not a home. Sometime a home just becomes a house one day.
Home is where the heart is. It can be miles away from where you are and once you're back, you can only appreciate and keep it alive.

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Helping out... 12/31/2010
 
The other day, we were in a coffee shop, sitting enjoying our coffee and dougnuts. Outside it was litterally freezing cold. A few tables further, a man was talking to some girls, they looked in their purses and gave him some money. He then continued to our table. He showed us his hands and told us he had it cold and no food... My wife asked Jim if he wanted a doughnut, as soon as she asked him, he immediately left the table.What my wife did not noticed is his mouth was smelling alcohol. The only thing this person was interested in, was not food, but money to buy his alcohol or whatever else he was looking for.

Personally, I have no problems giving something, but as he said he had no food, we offerecd, it was he who refused. Giving money to such a persons a waste.
It's not helping him,it only pushes him to go further downhill.

There are a lot of homeless people out there. Why not give them a place to stay and let them work. It can only be benificial for them as they will be able to help themselves.
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United we stand 12/11/2010
 
Earlier this year an agency sent me to a job interview at a call centre. The manager of that centre took the interview as she was looking for someone to replace her during her leave.
What she was looking for was someone who could, like her, divide the teams and rule. In other words, she admitted that she put the Team Leaders of the two small teams up against each other, spreading duality and friction. The only way to get results... according to her.

At another job, a supervisor of one department was on good terms with the main manager and he started to decide what, where and who. The manager himself no longer took any decisions about managing his people. Recently another employee was sent away. Not because she was not doing her job, but because she can stand her ground. Another employee who has caused problems with everybody is in his books good. Then again, this employee is in good terms with the owner of the working place.
All the other employees are feeling frustrated, have enough of this... The  manager however couldn't care less.

This last example only shows how little "managing" skills the manager has and how good his company will run. The more people are angry, the less they will produce. The "strength" of that Supervisor is people are divided and afraid. What employees don't seem to understand is that they do have Strenght... when united.
I remember an occasion at a company I once worked for. As their first request was not dealt with, they had decided to stand up all together, leave the phones unattended and go as one to the manager. This at a time when it was a peak of incoming calls. Seeing all the employees arriving, the management took immediate action to fix things.

By going all at once, the team made a point: we will not let this pass and we stand united. The company would certainly not fire them, as they were needed. What's a company without its employees?



So many companies don't understand that to have your company run smoothly and efficiently, you need your employees motivated.
How can one motivate its employees? Key is acknowledging people. Acknowledge their input, their thoughts and respect them.

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Recently I saw this US program about how people change themselves physically. Going to plastic surgeons to alter themselves: as they want to look more beautiful.
Apparently in a country they give reductions if the whole family goes, mother daughter, grandmother...

During the program they said some women have their noses changed when they don`t like it. However, when they have a child, the woman is reminded to the nose she had. Then the daughter is persuaded to have her nose changed.

Shortly after this program I saw another one, this time about the `nth diet system. As usual they were telling the audience how good this diet is. blablabla... Each new diet seems to be so perfect? Then why do they have new diets every so many months per year ???

I'll be honest, I tried a diet once and indeed lost a lot of weight in a short period. Was it healthy for my body? That's a totally other question. Probably not.
More recently I tried something completely different, something which made more sense. Eat when you are REALLY hungry, when your stomach tells you need the food. Back then I was working as a waiter and it was easy to follow that system. Barely had time to crunch.

Losing weight when you need to lose weight because of health reasons is a valid reason.
Having plastic surgery when you have parts of your body which are (severely damaged, disfigured) is a valid reason.

Why should someone spend so much money to have you physically changed... because others look thinner? Because others look more beautiful?

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. You are what and who you are.

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When I was younger, I was afraid of putting my own opinion forward. I thought I could be wrong... I looked up to people who mostly put me down and lost my self-confidence.

My self-confidence started to grow once I was abroad, performing. Suddenly people looked up to me. When I stopped working as entertainer, I still tried to match to the expectations of the people I looked up to.
Moved again and here bit by bit I grew my self-confidence and stated my own thoughts.

So many people are afraid of putting their own thoughts forwards. Who is wrong and who's right? We do not need to be afraid of stating our own opinions. Opinions will always differ; this is what makes us unique.
Your taste of movies, games, views on life... all that is what makes you YOU.

If people don't agree, they will put their views forward... this doesn’t mean you can’t have an understanding. Quite contrary, how many times do people say:
"We agree to disagree"
This does not take away the respect two people can have for each other. More often than not, people respect you for your opinion, your way of life. Whereas people who do not understand why you do not want to think the way they do, disrespect you.
So I ask you: what's more important: earning respect for who you are or becoming what others want you to become?

At work it's so important to put your opinion forward, this helps to improve your work, innovates the business. Without different opinions, everything will stagnate. Business people will either accept your opinion or won't. The main thing is you have your argument to defend your opinion. An opinion without argument is pointless.

So stand by your OWN opinion, it's what helps define who you are.
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True Friendship lasts forever. So many people have come and gone in my life, but only few remain in my life. In those few, there is always a Friend who is there for you. Someone who doesn't judge listens and makes you listen to yourself. Someone who simply KNOWS when you need him/her. Someone who knows what to say.

That Friend often is someone you never expected it to be. A person who simply was there once you needed someone, without you asking him/her to be there. Someone who knew you needed someone.
True Friendship is a Friendship which lasts forever, it's unconditional. It's someone who knows you like no other, who knows WHO you are and respects you for that. Someone who often knows you better than yourself.

When you can say you have such a Friend, you are truly a lucky and rich person.


True Friendship lasts forever.

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We often tend to stare ourselves blind to certain situations. We want to keep things working, though deep down inside us we know it will be hard. Then something happens, a situation is presenting itself and we realise what is happening.

When young, we tend to run away from things. Then later, when we feel stronger, we want to keep on fighting. There are times we need to turn away from things, this is not running away, but certain things aren't worth our energy. When giving energy, you're supposed to get filled, not emptied.
Turning away is not running away, it's simply putting a stop to a certain situation, keeping your own head up high.

Someone once said going away is giving in, surrendering to the people who try to put you down. Though my experience is when going away gives you more often than not, more opportunities. When people who cry you down see you don't need them to continue, who is on the losing end?
People underestimate themselves too often, I used to, yet again, experience has proven me I had more in me than the people were giving me credit for.

Quite often people take you for a fool. Remember:

The jester, fool at a King's court, was the one who could tell the truth and get away with it. It was the one who was taken for a fool, but it was the one who outsmarted everybody.

However, when people treat you as a fool, be the jester.
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Judging People 09/23/2010
 
Recently I was in this waiting room, took my ticket and sat down. Several people were in front of me, amongst them an older woman, foreigner. At one particular moment she was talking to the other people, apparently she was already waiting for about an hour. Suddenly her number came up and as she went to the counter, another man stood up as well. An argument started. Although her number was 10, it had a C in front, whereas at the time, the number was already preceding by a D. I don't know how she got her number, but the man was already saying:
"It's always the same with you people."
Immediately other people started to jump onto that wagon, agreeing with that man. Just because she was a foreigner, she is automatically in the wrong. Fortunately another person who worked there told everybody it's not just foreigners who "try" this trick, (with trick, meaning using an old number) but also people from here.

Am glad this person stood up against those people. In the mean time of the argument, my number had gone up and I stood in front of this person who defended the foreigner.
I regret I hadn't been faster and given my own number to the foreigner. This could have solved this situation.

People are always so easy to judge others, simply because they NEED someone to blame for their own frustrations.

In the past, I've worked in a multi cultural environments. Had great colleagues, learnt a lot from different cultures, which enrichened my knowledge. Being in such environment where others are judged simply because they're not from here, makes me feel a stranger.

Is it really so hard to accept people for WHO they are?
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I've tried to make a weekly blog, however I haven't had much inspiration to write.
My aim is not to write just something to write, but to have something to write about.

Sometimes things just pop up, either an article I read, or something someone said. Like today, someone talked about going on retirement.  Upon my remark: he can start to enjoy things of life, he replied:"what's the use, you work hard your whole life and when you can enjoy things, you're tired and old."

He's got a point; lots of people go and do things once they retire. Their whole life they've been working hard and doing little to enjoy life.

My father once said to me, when you work; better go with a smile to work rather than a long face. After all, your work is part of your life.

So why shouldn't we enjoy life DURING our life? Why should we only work? If you go with a smile to your work, enjoy your work, not only will you like going, but you'll be motivated to go the extra mile.

Been working as waiter in a place where I had great contact with colleagues. One of the people working there seemed to have a problem with everyone and everything. This person could never take a joke, couldn't laugh. Did not even accepted people around at work enjoyed working together and talking to each other whilst working.
Some people even were afraid to take a simple drink. One day was being asked if I had an illness as I was drinking lots of water. (Kind of normal if you sweat during summer time and work hard, no?).
You could see this person was totally frustrated with her life and she was constantly being childish towards others, talking behind the back, going to the Manager for the slightest thing.
Instead of having people helping her, she pushed everyone away. Then when she did need help, she was so surprised nobody did help her.

How will that person look back at her life by the time she will retire? Will she will ask herself what she did with her life.

It's a shame people do not see the Life around them, don't try to get along with others.

We should treasure life every day. I've met this person who had an open heart operation and lay in coma during a couple of days. He was still recovering after a year. This whole thing had opened his eyes to Life and he takes every day as it comes. Not bothered with the small things.

Do we really need something to happen to us before we realise what life is giving us? Or can we enjoy Life and live it at its fullest every day we have?
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